The Deep End
"In all the good times I find myself longing for change, and in the bad times I fear myself." This line speaks to me. It strikes a chord in my soul. It's from the song Shallow (Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper) and whenever I hear it, I am floored by the accuracy of it. When things are good, I am a mover and a shaker. I'm always looking towards the next goal and not content to just be . It's a flaw that I am trying to work on, ha. When I'm feeling anxious or down, I am flat out afraid of myself. I get so fearful that I won't be able to pull myself together and will go back to the full-on hell that was my life a year ago. A year ago, I was in free-fall. A year ago, I had no idea how far down my bottom was, nor how hard it would hurt once I hit it. Now that I've scraped, clawed, and climbed my way out...I'm sometimes afraid of the height of being up...and also my potential for descent. The panic, the despair, the anxiety, the hell...my hell...all sta...